One of my best customers thought I should post this up. It's on my website but not many actually look at it. Most that read it find it very direct, honest and funny so I thought I would post it up to share.
Terms of service
General-
Welcome to the warm embrace of Ridge Demon, the first website to have Ridge Demon products (and maybe the only)… Sit still a minute because you need to know this stuff.
You're about to be one of our customers. Don't be alarmed. We'll explain more later. Typical orders take up to 5 business days to ship from our warehouse except for items that take longer and also the items that take less. If you order an item during peak times, it can take a little longer than the normal longer. Once we ship it, delivery time to your door depends on the company we ship with. Rite now were making Fedex happy. Once the item ships out, you can find out how long it will take to get to you by typing in your tracking number on the website of the shipping company. If you have a problem receiving your order, sorry but chances are very likely that it’s not our fault. If you receive your item and it doesn't work, contact the manufacturer first. They made the junk. Let them deal with it. If they turn out to be total tools, contact sales@ridgedemon.com and we will grudgingly provide some further assistance. If you receive your item and decide you don't like it, take it to eBay or pawn it off on one of your so-called friends. We don't want it, either. That goes for all Ridge Demon, GM, and aftermarket parts. As for Ridge Demon swag, which includes but not limited to stickers, decals, clothing and leg stockings, if you order the wrong size or color, we won't take it back. Your only option is to gain or lose weight so it fits, possibly including painful, costly cosmetic surgery, or paint it a color you prefer. If you want your overnight order the next day, too bad, that’s impossible. Overnight in the real world means within 2 days from today probably. You will never order something on a Monday and receive it on the same Monday, we don’t have a drive thru either. International orders generally take about 3-4 weeks to arrive but will mostly take more or less than that. If you think your one-year-old can design better products than us, your lucky. Chances are HE will become a genius.
Ridge Demon motto for all customers to follow-
First, don't get your hopes up: orders can only be shipped to certain states for a reasonable price. Most states shipping is insanely expensive. If you order a item and we don’t ship to your country, too bad. Ineligible orders will be canceled and refunded. If you do complete your order and receive the tracking data, make sure you give it some time to update. It won't be uncommon for it to take a little while for real, actual data to show up. You might call the data "late" - we prefer to think of it as "aged" like the wine your spouse needs to put up with you.
The website-
Don't be confused or disoriented by the redirect when you visit the site - we just have to run you through security before you come back to the Ridge Demon realm which is really dark and gloomy, mainly because we don’t pay the light bill and we never clean. It's perfectly normal. You should know that we actually sell things here at times that could partner nicely with items from other websites giving you a chance to have your cake and eat it, and then take a bite of another guy's cake when he's not looking.
Age of consent to purchase our products-
If you are old enough to figure out how to use your use your parents credit card, we welcome you as a new customer.
Terms of service
General-
Welcome to the warm embrace of Ridge Demon, the first website to have Ridge Demon products (and maybe the only)… Sit still a minute because you need to know this stuff.
You're about to be one of our customers. Don't be alarmed. We'll explain more later. Typical orders take up to 5 business days to ship from our warehouse except for items that take longer and also the items that take less. If you order an item during peak times, it can take a little longer than the normal longer. Once we ship it, delivery time to your door depends on the company we ship with. Rite now were making Fedex happy. Once the item ships out, you can find out how long it will take to get to you by typing in your tracking number on the website of the shipping company. If you have a problem receiving your order, sorry but chances are very likely that it’s not our fault. If you receive your item and it doesn't work, contact the manufacturer first. They made the junk. Let them deal with it. If they turn out to be total tools, contact sales@ridgedemon.com and we will grudgingly provide some further assistance. If you receive your item and decide you don't like it, take it to eBay or pawn it off on one of your so-called friends. We don't want it, either. That goes for all Ridge Demon, GM, and aftermarket parts. As for Ridge Demon swag, which includes but not limited to stickers, decals, clothing and leg stockings, if you order the wrong size or color, we won't take it back. Your only option is to gain or lose weight so it fits, possibly including painful, costly cosmetic surgery, or paint it a color you prefer. If you want your overnight order the next day, too bad, that’s impossible. Overnight in the real world means within 2 days from today probably. You will never order something on a Monday and receive it on the same Monday, we don’t have a drive thru either. International orders generally take about 3-4 weeks to arrive but will mostly take more or less than that. If you think your one-year-old can design better products than us, your lucky. Chances are HE will become a genius.
Ridge Demon motto for all customers to follow-
First, don't get your hopes up: orders can only be shipped to certain states for a reasonable price. Most states shipping is insanely expensive. If you order a item and we don’t ship to your country, too bad. Ineligible orders will be canceled and refunded. If you do complete your order and receive the tracking data, make sure you give it some time to update. It won't be uncommon for it to take a little while for real, actual data to show up. You might call the data "late" - we prefer to think of it as "aged" like the wine your spouse needs to put up with you.
The website-
Don't be confused or disoriented by the redirect when you visit the site - we just have to run you through security before you come back to the Ridge Demon realm which is really dark and gloomy, mainly because we don’t pay the light bill and we never clean. It's perfectly normal. You should know that we actually sell things here at times that could partner nicely with items from other websites giving you a chance to have your cake and eat it, and then take a bite of another guy's cake when he's not looking.
Age of consent to purchase our products-
If you are old enough to figure out how to use your use your parents credit card, we welcome you as a new customer.
