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The Wanderer

SuperBuickGuy

Well-Known Member
Messages
3,403
Location
Woodinville, WA
CHRISTMAS IN ALASKA

BY RICK SIEMAN





Welcome to the good life of Carl and Emma. Carl, a retired Navy Chief Petty Officer, drives a huge four-wheel drive Suburban all over the country to explore off-roading areas. The Suburban, nick-named The Whale, is loaded to the max with every goody known to man. Emma, a very patient lady, tries to keep the short-fused Carl out of as much trouble as possible.
When we last left them, they were extremely stuck in the mud bogs of Davis, West Virginia. We join them as they're driving across Texas, with no particular destination in mind.

***

"Well, dear ... whattaya say we head out to California and spend Christmas camping out in the middle of the desert where there's no stupid snow?" Carl expertly spat a wad of tobacco out of the window of The Whale and banked the plug off a yellow road sign, just a hair off dead center, at the same time adding yet another brown stain to the flank of the Suburban.
Emma fixed Carl with one of those stares that showed she meant business. "You know, Carl, there's one thing I've always wanted to do during Christmas time, and that's visit Santa's Village up in Alaska."
Carl chuckled. "Ain't you a little old to be believing in Sandy Claus, Emma? I found out about that bull before I started shavin'!"
Emma sniffed. "I'm not talking about kid stuff, Carl. There really is a tourist place you can go to. I saw it on one of those travel shows on the TV a few weeks ago. They actually make toys and things there that you can buy and there's a restaurant and a hotel. Just think how nice it would be to spend Christmas eve there, with all the elves and such, by a huge decorated tree!"
"Sounds like a waste of time to me. And who would want to spend Christmas eve surrounded by a bunch of midgets wearing pointy hats?"
Emma sighed. "Well, I surely would have enjoyed going there. It's like being a kid again. But it's just as well. Apparently the road that goes back into Santa's Village is a real bad one. It's supposed to be bad enough in good weather, but in the winter, they recommend that only highly experienced off-roaders with excellent equipment attempt the drive. Most folks just fly in."
A smile creased Carl's face. "Fly in, huh?" Must be a bunch of wimps up there in Alaska. Ain't much that can stop a 454 engine hooked up to 35-inch Mudder tires, now is there?"
"Now, Carl. Maybe it's not such good idea after all, What with that nasty old road smack in the dead of winter. Guess my little dream will just have to be put on the back burners of the stove of life."
Carl stuffed a fresh clump of chewing tobacco in his mouth. "Well now, Emma, maybe old Carl here can answer those girlish dreams of yours. One way or another, I can get The Whale up any road, regardless of the weather. Only thing is, let's just spend one night there and get back into civilized country in time for me to catch the Super Bowl. I got good tickets on the 40-yard line."
Emma gave a secretive smile. "Oh, Carl. You're so brave and I know you won't get us stuck like you did in West Virginia and Delaware and Florida and Pennsylvania and upstate New York and North Carolina and ..."
"Put a lid on it, Emma. I get the message."

They rolled along at exactly two miles per hour over the speed limit, the mighty 454 barely working as it hauled the mass of The Whale down the ruler-straight empty Texas highway. The strains of Willie Nelson filled the interior of the plush Suburban, through sixteen speakers.

The sound of squealing tires had Emma digging her toes in the thick carpeting, and before her eyes were focused, Carl had the Suburban stopped on the shoulder and had leaped out of the drivers seat. He stood at the base of a road sign with both hands on his hips, and stared up at the sign in obvious awe.
Emma got out and joined him. "Carl, what's the matter? You look like you're in a state of shock?"
"Lookit this, Emma! It's a brand new sign with no bullet holes in it! They musta just put it up. I betcha I've driven through Texas a hunnert times and I've never seen a sign that wasn't full of bullet holes. Get your Instamatic out and take a photo of me next to this landmark."
"OK. And then what?"
"Then I get one of my guns out and put the first hole in it before somebody else beats me to it."
"Carl, when are you going to grow up? I swear!"
"Hey, I'm not the one who wants to go see Sandy Claus."
 

SuperBuickGuy

Well-Known Member
Messages
3,403
Location
Woodinville, WA
***

Carl and Emma eventually reached California, and drove North along the coast, staying as always, two miles per hour over the speed limit. The Whale handled surprisingly well, considering that it had three gas tanks, two air conditioners, a TV satellite dish on the roof, a generator, two roll-up awnings, trail bikes hanging on each end and, of course, a boat lashed to the roof.

They passed through California and once again marveled at the heavy woods of Oregon, and the staggeringly beautiful landscapes. Washington also offered its own particular brand of visual treats, even though it rained most of time and was very cold, bordering on snow.

It did snow in Canada, but lightly, and not enough to build up on the roads. The highways got lonely and traffic was sparse as they drove through the mountainous areas of British Columbia toward the Yukon Territory. Highway 97, the famed Alaskan Highway, took them north past Kluane and Burwash Landing and shortly after, they crossed the border into Alaska. Even though it was cold, there was very little snow on the ground and they stayed comfy-cozy in the spacious cab of The Whale.

Here, they picked up Highway 2 - a great road - into the heart of Alaska and then swung north on Route 6. The terrain got meaner looking and the weather colder. Emma got out the brochure for Santa's Village and gave Carl the appropriate rights and lefts, until finally, near the northern part of Alaska, they ran out of paved road and saw the sign that ominously read, "Santa's Village, 41 Miles. Unpaved Road. Travel At Your Own Risk!"

The road was nastily, rutted, slick with frozen patches of ice, and studded with tire shredding rocks. Much to Carl's credit, he piloted the huge Suburban with skill and grace, and three hours later, arrived at the entrance to Santa's Village, one very tired off-roader.
Emma popped into the office and registered for their room, picking up a fistful of brochures and a half-dozen souvenirs in the process. She was bright-eyed and smiling. "Carl, we just have time to freshen up before the seven o'clock show."
Carl raised his eyes skyward and mumbled, "Whoopee."

***

The show was as bad as Carl thought it would be. The audience consisted of about 14 white-haired old women accompanied by bored-looking husbands. Little elves danced around the dinky stage to scratchy recorded music, while a fat guy in a Santa suit ho-ho-ed like an axe murderer. A ratty-looking reindeer was dragged out on the stage and promptly did a disgusting act of nature on Santa's foot. Carl could have sworn he heard Santa say some words he hadn't heard since his Navy days.
They had a toy making demonstration that was so stupid Carl simply could not believe it, and then some more elves danced around like chickens with no brains and then the fat guy yelled ho-ho-ho some more, and mercifully, the curtain came down.

Carl and Emma had a very bad meal in the restaurant and then retired for the night. Carl was very happy that they'd be leaving the next day and fell asleep quickly.

Morning brought bright light through the windows and Carl quickly showered and dressed, then headed out to check on The Whale before the long drive back. Or at least he tried to. The door of the hotel room would not open.
Frustrated, Carl got on the hotel phone. "Hey, what's the deal? My door won't work!"
A chuckle was heard coming from the other end of the line. "Oh, nothing is wrong with your door, sir. We just had a bit of a snowfall. You might look out your window. I'll hold."
Carl looked out the window and saw nothing but white. Then he stood on the bed and looked out the six-inch gap that was not covered by snow. He could see the top of The Whale, and just the top. Snow was everywhere. Many feet of snow. Piles and piles of snow.
Carl grabbed the phone. "Hey, I've got to get out of here. The Super Bowl is right around the corner!"
"Sorry, sir, but we'll be snowed in for a few weeks. It happens up here like that, sort of sudden like. However, you won't be bored, because the elves will be having toy making workshops and you can get involved. By the way, sir ... Merry Christmas and a hearty ho-ho-ho to you!"
A thumping sound aroused Emma from a very deep slumber, and as she opened one sleep-encrusted eye, she saw Carl banging his head against the wall.
Emma pulled the blankets over her head and quietly went back to sleep.
 

SuperBuickGuy

Well-Known Member
Messages
3,403
Location
Woodinville, WA
THE WANDERERS #4




[h=1][/h]
IN SEARCH OF THE WORLD'S BIGGEST RABBIT

By Rick Sieman





When we last left them, Carl and Emma had been snowed-in at Santa's Village in Alaska long enough to cause Carl to miss the Super Bowl game, which did not improve his disposition. We join them as The Whale lumbers south, away from Alaska, at exactly two miles per hour over the posted speed limit:

***

"It's enough to make a grown man toss his cookies right on the dash, Emma. Here's two 40-yard-line tickets to the Super Bowl and I never got a chance to use 'em. Cost me two hunnert bucks each; maybe I should frame them and hang 'em on the wall."
Carl rolled the window down and blasted a stream of tobacco juice out of the window, splattering a passing station wagon across two-thirds of the windshield and depositing yet another layer of stains on the side of The Whale.
Emma sighed and paused momentarily in her crocheting. "Carl, you haven't told me just where we're heading, and I do wish you'd be more careful when you spit out that window. That poor station wagon nearly went off the road when you covered his windshield."
"I'm not sure exactly where yet. Mostly, I just want to get as far away from snow and cold weather as I can without ending up in Peru or some other communist country. Texas was pretty warm when we passed through it; maybe we ought to head down there and find some dirt roads that ain't been explored before. Yeah, that's it ... Texas! The Lode Star State."
"You mean Lone Star, dear?"
"That's what I said. Anyway, why don't you try to get a good station on the radio ... and none of that modern crap like the Beatles or the Monkees. See if you can get some polkas or Benny Goodman."
"Emma fiddled with the elaborate radio. "You know Carl, I never could figure this radio out. It's got more controls on it than an airplane and it cost us more than a small car."
"Emma, that's a serious set-up. Nothin' but the best goes in The Whale. It's got 200 amps and twice as many volts, an eternal equalizer, AM-FM-PM, police, hospital and mortician bands, woofers, honkers and tweeters, Dolby and Molby, instant replay cassettes, a spastic filter, whiffledonks, multi-tuning forks, eight speed signal hunters and a half dozen red lights that flash on and off a lot. Can't get much better than that!"
Emma finally found a control that switched stations and started scanning:

…SCAN…
" ... soy beans are up and pork bellies are down, while wheat futures are swaying in the breeze ..."

…SCAN…
" ... you're going to burn forever if you don't send in your love offering right now, to P.O. Box ..."

…SCAN…
" ... and that concludes our 27 Golden Oldies hits in a row without a commercial break. Say, do you suffer from ... "

…SCAN…
" ... pork bellies are definitely up and soy beans are down, while wheat futures are holding steady ..."

…SCAN…
" ... legislative bill number 47 is complicated, but if you take the time to study it in depth, you can see that ..."

…SCAN…
" ... very few recordings of the Bulgarian Opera Company have been released in the last twenty years, but we stumbled on a six record set that should highlight the dulcet tones of Fundwar Ksonitski and ... "

…SCAN…
" ... wheat futures, according to the experts, are soaring, while both pork bellies and soy beans are plummeting ... "

…SCAN…
" ... looks like rabbit hunting season is in full swing in Texas, with great reports from ... "

"Hold it light there, Emma! We got us a real station. Now quit clicking those needles so loud, so's I can hear what's happening!"

" ... rabbits the size of Buicks are roaming the hills and hunters are heading home with full gunny sacks of the long-eared critters. And the center of the action appears to be Bonzo, Texas, home of the annual rabbit hunting tournament. So, if you're in the area, stop in and sign up. Who knows? You could be the winner of the $25,000 first place prize for the biggest rabbit. Jot this number down and ... "

The Whale screeched to a halt on the shoulder and Carl scribbled down the number, then whipped out a road map, followed some lines with a thick fore-finger and yelped, "Buckle up, Emma! We gotta make 1500 miles in the next two days!"

***

Texas. Wide, flat, lonely highways, miles with no houses, sparse traffic, bullet-riddled road signs, dead armadillos splattered on the scorching hot pavement and gnarly looking cattle nibbling on vegetation that would gag a house fly.
The Whale rumbled down the arrow straight empty road, substantially over the speed limit, the 454 cubic inch engine barely working up a sweat in the process.

Emma took over the wheel for a while, and Carl cleaned his guns in the back seat while Emma shuddered. Every once in a while, Carl would peer out the window at an imaginary rabbit, cock his finger and make bang-bang sounds with an evil grin on his face. "Gotcha, Bugs Bunny! Kapowie, right between the ears. Rabbit burgers coming up on the grill!"

***

They arrived in Bonzo, Texas, after a grueling drive. The town consisted of a Texaco gas station, one small diner, a hardware store and perhaps 200 houses loosely scattered around the main street. Carl stopped in at the station and tanked up, noting a poster for the rabbit hunting tournament posted next to a stack of dusty Yoohoo
 

SuperBuickGuy

Well-Known Member
Messages
3,403
Location
Woodinville, WA
soda cases. Sign up was at seven in the morning at the barber shop and the tournament started sharply at nine.

That night, Carl hit the sheets early, while Emma watched five different wrestling shows until midnight on the satellite TV. Yes, The Whale was well equipped, indeed.
Dawn crept in, Texas-style, slowly at first, then blinking in full tilt in a matter of minutes. A huge number of hunters were still signing up, many of them in out-of-state trucks. Carl paid the entry fee, bought the required licenses and got a sheet of rules and information.
According to the rules, the hunters could use their four-wheel-drive vehicles to go anywhere, as long as they did not shoot from the vehicles, and stayed within the county boundaries. Shooting started at nine and ended at dark. All rabbits had to be in for weighing before eight o-clock and the heaviest rabbit got the $25,000 top prize. There were also other prizes to be announced later on for runners-up.

At 8:55, Carl locked the front hubs and made sure the shotguns were lashed down firmly in carriers. At nine on the button, he turned the key and fired up the mighty 454 and dropped it into 4H. All four tires churned and spun on the hard-baked Texas clay and The Whale headed off to the hunt.
Emma frowned. "Carl, are you really going to shoot one of those cute little bunnies?"
"You can bet on it, honey pot. There's gonna be fur a'flyin'!"
"Carl, if you shoot those innocent creatures. The Good Lord will punish you. It's not right!"
Carl just grinned and bounded over the bumpy fire road. The road got rougher, but the double shocks at each wheel soaked up the bumps nicely. When Carl got out of sight of all the other vehicles, he slowed down and concentrated on scanning the landscape. A half hour later, Carl saw a tell-tale set of ears perk up and a rabbit bounded away, darting from right to left. Carl leapt out of The Whale and started firing away like Rambo. Puffs of dirt hit to the right, then the left and behind the rabbit, before it disappeared from sight.
Emma squealed, "Did you kill it? Did you hurt the poor thing?"
Carl grunted. "Nope, the miserable rodent got away. Musta been a tail wind throwing off my aim. I'll get the next one, though."
Emma just set her lips tightly and knitted furiously.

During the next eight hours, Carl ran through 15 boxes of ammo and scared the living hell out of dozens of rabbits, but not one of them suffered so much as even a scratch.

As darkness neared, Carl sighed and gave up. "I just don't understand it. Must be the gun. Never shoulda bought a BlastMaster Mark II. Sights are way off."

The Whale pitched and rolled gently as they headed back to the registration area. Carl turned on 14 of his 22 roof lights and a blazing wave of luminescence lit up the landscape.
And there in the arc of the lights, stood the biggest, ugliest rabbit Carl had ever seen, transfixed, with eyes as wide as poker chips. As Carl was reaching for his gun, there was a loud "thunk" sound from under The Whale.
Carl scrambled out and moments later, poked his face in the cab, holding on to a pair of very long ears attached to a huge rabbit.
Emma let out a small gacking sound: "Killer! How could you?"
"C'mon, Emma. The dumb thing jumped right into the winch and got knocked senseless. I never even got a shot off. No matter. Looks like I got me a $25,000 rabbit here!"

When Carl pulled up to the registration area and carried the rabbit over, a hush fell over the gathered hunters. The rabbit was a monster! Carl beamed from ear to ear, like a certified idiot.
The judge put it on the scales. "Twenty one pounds even. Biggest one so far. Funny thing, though. I don't see any bullet holes."
Carl didn't even bat an eye. "Oh, that's the way I hunt 'em. I shoot for a rock next to the rabbit and the explosion of the rock stuns 'em dead. It's cleaner that way. 'Course, you got to have a good gun to do that. I use a BlastMaster II, one of the finest pieces money can buy."
The judge nodded. "Well then. If there are no further entries, it looks like we got ourselves a winner here?
"Hold on!" A voice came from the back of the crowd. "I just got in and got me a big one here." The hunter hoisted a giant rabbit up to the judge, who promptly weighed it, and in a deep voice, intoned: "Twenty-one pounds, six and a half ounces. It's now eight o'clock and I declare this here rabbit to be the winner. Sir, step forward and claim your $25,000 first prize money."
The hunter, a barrel-chested man with two wads of tobacco in his mouth, climbed up to the podium and accepted his check, amid heavy applause.
The judge held up a hand. "And now, in second place, with a twenty-one round rabbit, this gentleman here. Sir, come up and get your prize."
Carl wheezed and clambered up to the podium. "What do I get for second?"
The judge opened up the envelope and smiled. "You get a great prize, sir. Two expense-paid weeks vacation at Santa's Village in Alaska, including room and board. Congratulations!"
Emma didn't say a word, which at this point in time, was probably a very wise move.
 

SuperBuickGuy

Well-Known Member
Messages
3,403
Location
Woodinville, WA
little bit done

every time I use this I'm reminded how much easier my other one works


the hole


so much easier


done (I think)


just need to bleed, make sure it doesn't leak, bolt back to the frame and go onto the next issue
 

SuperBuickGuy

Well-Known Member
Messages
3,403
Location
Woodinville, WA
Well, the brakes work - onto the next issues
like how to drain coolant without a huge mess
drill a hole - not sure why they didn't replace the hose when they replaced the radiator (with the wrong one)... but it was leaking so it had to be fixed


the PO was a wiring god - a puny god, but a wiring god....


at some point he replaced the relay, but left the old relay in place and let it dangle. I swear it had to have been harder to do what he did then do it right (this will be a recurring theme)


next up



I also ordered lift springs for it both front and rear - I really wasn't going to lift it, but by the time I ordered all new bushings, new shocks and rearched the sagging springs.... I'd be at more money then buying newer, better, softer-riding shocks with poly bushings.... that's my story and I'm sticking to it.
 

SuperBuickGuy

Well-Known Member
Messages
3,403
Location
Woodinville, WA
I forgot to explain something at the start.... why a 1985 Suburban. Many would think it was simply what was available - actually, no. It comes down to driver comfort. In 1984 they went to a wiper-control-on-the-stalk. In 1986 they went to more electronics and even more metric along with that annoying serpentine but not serpentine belt system (half serpentine, half not). By 1987 the electronics (even on the diesel models) had fully taken control - so my preference was 1984/85. I wanted dual air but had to settle - but still there it is - and I have a solution for not having rear a/c (it will have it, but just not how GM envisioned it)
 

SuperBuickGuy

Well-Known Member
Messages
3,403
Location
Woodinville, WA
Coming soon, 4" lift before that happens... this

Nothing bores me and annoys me more then wiring. Which is why I struggle to even do updates during this - HOWEVER, I think this time there might be things which need enlightening - so, in the interest of advancing knowledge, I persist.


It's always a bit of archaeology to try to figure out why... in this case, why did they run half a light cord from the alternator to the battery? it does explain the jumper cables.... but why?

why didn't they attach the signals to the grill?

why did they put ANOTHER relay when all they had to do was put 12v to the pink wire?


First explanation. The GM controller is a relay. It has a sensor in the coolant that opens at 152*, it fails in the open position (thus not burning the glow plugs down and causing catastrophic failure of the motor when the plugs melt then the glow plug wires catches on fire and burns the vehicle down)
Originally, GM had a sensor/controller on the 5.7 then the 6.2 (shared parts, there are few but that was one). That gem/jewel was one-piece and would fail then cost 175 to replace. In 1985 GM finally heard the whining and came up with this controller. It has a separate sensor and what you see (the blueish bit on the motor) is mostly a large relay. It's also easy to bypass - though likely it's simply the sensor that failed... still $100 to replace, but not so bad as before - even if one does replace it. Put a momentary switch in the cab just in case... and send power to the larger of the pink wires.


hey look, less color

much better

the pile is growing


next issue is these wires. the white one is for the tach (which they destroyed when they replaced the motor), the two coated wires are amazingly thick, but ulimately 20 gauge wires for the dual fans. I don't like electric fans, I think they create radio noise, draw tremendous amounts of power, and don't cool as well as an engine driven fan.... after all, an engine is whatever the hp is of the motor (180 hp in this case). The dual fans are may 2 hp. 2 hp is not as powerful as 185 hp. Granted, clutch fans fail and do so at the worst time - but I'd rather run a screw through a clutch fan to make it a direct fan before I'd ever put an electric fan on. With that said, having electric as backup is a great idea on a 4x4. In this case, they put it on the wrong side and I'm simply too lazy to change it.... so that will be fixed, but in a far better manner then a relay wired with house twist ties.

Wiper motor..... I didn't know before tonight whether or not it was simply the wiring or the motor was junk. I suspected the motor was junk because they had an aftermarket controller on it. Turn the wipers to high, then adjust the knob to get delay or low wipers.... I can't imagine the controller cost less the $25.00 and a new, rebuilt wiper motor is $55. Not sure why, so I suspect that I'll be replacing the control board too ($64) .... but one step at a time,


soldered the wires together and shrink wrapped it...

fixed


more puzzling - why did they strip 2" off the fuel pump shutoff?


ah well, liquid coating was made for these issues

Cruise control
I found this laying in the back of the motor


for whatever reason they felt an arrow shaft was the appropriate vacuum block-off rather then having cruise control. There will be more on this later, when I get the accumulator and check valve - but I will fix it. Cruise makes long-distance driving a much more enjoyable endeavor....
 

SuperBuickGuy

Well-Known Member
Messages
3,403
Location
Woodinville, WA
a few minutes to work
so Kinsey is continuing her checking out... hopefully I can gut this enough to get the mouse smell out


gutting


cleaned


I'm interested in opinions.... I can either do a back wall of appliance/shelf/drawers like a teardrop trailer or I can build along one side or the other..... interested to hear pros and cons of doing one way over the other.... remember this will be on 35s with a 4" lift - but I am planning on a table/step off the back which keeps the cook out of the mud.


or


in other news, I moved the pump


wow, crappy and crappier pictures.... it's one line to the passenger side now instead of 1/4" towards the driver's side.
 

SuperBuickGuy

Well-Known Member
Messages
3,403
Location
Woodinville, WA
So I am narrowing in on what I'm going to do for HVAC. Of course, running down the road will be with the engine-drive HVAC system. I plan on adding a Penguin II roof top heat pump on the back of the roof along with 200 watts of solar panels (to run the refrigerator). The batteries should be enough to run the fan portion of the roof top unit and if it gets too warm, I'll simply have a 2500 watt gas generator. At some point I'll add a hydrogen cell for power... the only real question I haven't answered yet is how much engine-driven generator do I need. I've had several RVs where the engine-driven a/c didn't work but I used the generac and the roof top a/c while blowing down the highway.... I'd like to do something similar for this.... after all 2 people and 3 large dogs do create some heat so using the Penguin along with the stock a/c is would be a nice feature. Details.... the Penguin 2 runs on 115v and a 20 amp breaker. it's load full-load is 12.4 amps for the compressor and 2-6 amp for the fan(s).... that is all in AC volts (of course).... anyone want to figure out what the DC load would be?
 

JPaul

Well-Known Member
Messages
2,400
Location
Way up north, UT
You're looking at about a max of 2400 watts of power needed to run the Penguin (with some wiggle room, that's planning for a max load of 20 amps, though with your numbers it'd be 18.4 amps max), so at 12v you'd need 200 amps, and that's not factoring in powerloss through the inverter. If you figure a conservative efficiency of 85% minimum your inverter will need to pull about 235 amps at full load on just battery power. If you're only running it while the engine is on and it's putting out ~13.8 volts then that's about 205 amps into the inverter at full load. A 3000 watt (running, not peak) inverter would be the minimum size I'd use for that.
 

SuperBuickGuy

Well-Known Member
Messages
3,403
Location
Woodinville, WA
BLUNDERING THROUGH THE BUCKEYE STATE

By Rick Sieman





When we last left Carl and Emma, they were chasing rabbits in the great state of Texas. Carl came in second in the Annual Bonzo, Texas Rabbit Hunt and Chili Cook off Festival after running over a huge rabbit in his enormous Suburban.

Disgusted with his second-place prize (a two-week all expenses paid vacation to Santa's Village in Alaska), Carl just wanted to get out of Texas and leave the bitter memories behind him.

They headed east, along legendary Highway 66, on account of Emma wanting to visit her ailing Uncle Howard in Ohio. Carl hated Uncle Howard almost as much as he hated hippies, baton twirlers, modern music and communists.

The reason was simple. Uncle Howard had been dying for 12 years, but
refused to lay down for the count. Carl and Emma had made seemingly endless trips to Ohio only to have Uncle Howard get healthier, surlier and more foul-mouthed than ever. It was only Emma's insistence and the fact that they were mentioned in the will that kept Carl from ignoring the old coot.

The Whale rumbled east at exactly two miles an hour over the speed limit, with Emma knitting away in the passenger seat and Carl perched in the captains chair like an oriental potentate overseeing his subjects.
"What's all that stupid clicking noise about over there, Emma? You makin' me another one of them ugly scarves with a reindeer on it?"
"No, dear. I'm knitting this for poor Uncle Howard. It's got little snowflakes on the bottom, pine trees on the side and a happy face in the middle. I was thinking of adding a itsy-bitsy blinking light right where the nose on the happy face will be, just to make it classy looking."
Carl grunted. "Why waste all that time on Uncle Howard? He's probably going to outlive us all and dance on our graves and spend our inheritance money on floozies and booze. I can't believe that guy ... he's 90 years old, looks like he's 125 and he's outlived four wives. He drinks a quart of Jack Daniels every night, smokes 20 cigars before lunch, eats nothing but bacon fat and hot sausage and drives a World War II Jeep around town looking for accidents. That guy shoulda been dead 45 years ago."
"Now, Carl ... he is family, you know. And he used to buy Girl Scout cookies off of me when I was a little girl."
"And if I remember correctly, you told me he used to dip the cookies into a glass of whiskey and pass out after a dozen or so Thin Mints. That guy is probably from Mars or something."

Carl rolled down the window and ejected a huge brown stream of Red Man tobacco juice on the flank of a startled cow standing alongside the road.
As per usual, another mist of chew juice wafted back on the side of The Whale. Carl fiddled with the CB and said, "Emma, get the road map out and see how far we are from the Ohio state line. There's some good roads goin' in and some roads patrolled by those Fascist Hoopies."
"What's a Hoopie, Carl?"
"That's slang for Highway Patrol, Ohio-style. Those guys will pull you over if you got too much mustard on your sandwich, or if the light in your glove compartment is burned out. One of them gave me a ticket once for having a rusty trailer hitch ball. They must recruit them from axe murderers school."
"Now, Carl. They're just doing their job trying to keep the roads safe."
"Hah! Don't put your arm out of the window if you have a tattoo on it. They'd more than likely bust you for roadside advertising without a permit."
"I'm not the one with the tattoos, dear. You're the one with the anchor on
your forearm and the ship on your chest."
"And I got them honorably, too. Twenty-nine years in the Navy gives a man the right to do certain things. You didn't mention the little tattoo down by my ..."
"Carl! Don't get crude. I'd prefer to not discuss that particular tattoo. I just don't understand you men. My oh my!"
"Aw, quit carping, Emma, and see if you can't get some Willy Nelson on the
radio ... and start reading that road map. Uncle Howard is waiting."

Twenty minutes later, Emma meekly looked up from a stack of maps and squeaked, "Bad news, dear. We have every map except the one for Ohio. Maybe we ought to stop in the next station and buy one?"
"No way. We don't stop unless we need gas or have to make a pit stop. Just keep an eye out for the Ohio state line and my razor sharp memory should
take us on in from there."

Two hours later, they had indeed crossed the Ohio state line and were well and truly lost out in the farmland back roads.

"Carl, why don't we stop in a gas station and ask for directions?"
"No way! You think these local plow boys can find their way past the A & W Root Beer stand without a guide dog? Let's just call your relatives and get some reasonable directions from them."

Uncle Howard answered the phone and started right in. "Lost again, Carl? It's a wonder you can go to the bathroom without a funnel."
Carl fumed. "Look, Uncle Howard. We're in a small burg called Wet Plank, Ohio, and I just want to find the quickest way to your place. Oh sure, I could probably wander down the old Interstate, but I'm on a tight schedule."
There was a long pause on the other end of the line. "Hmmm. There is a short way here, but it'll mean you have to do some of it on the old back roads. Dirt roads. Some of them are pretty screwed up. I wouldn't recommend it unless you're a good driver. Fella could get himself stuck out there."
Carl bristled. "Now you're talkin' my speciality, Uncle Howard. I got a 454 under the hood of my Suburban and big tires and tall gears."
"Hmmmmph. Always been a Ford man myself. Figured anybody who drove a Chevy was a weenie. They named it after a Frenchman, ya know, and they eat snails, and you know how slow snails are, and that's why Chevys are slow. Didn't you learn anything all those years you were in sixth grade?"
"Just cough up the directions, Uncle Howard. And don't worry about me handling the back roads. I got a pencil and paper handy. Fire away."
"Okay. You go east on the main road out of Wet Plank and turn down a dirt road by the first barn you see on the left side with a Mail Pouch sign painted on it. This'll take you out to a highway after about 20 miles and you'll be on the north side of Wind Chill Factor Football Stadium. That's the place where your high school team lost 126 to 3 back in '54. Remember that? And you fumbled eight times in the first quarter and dropped two passes in the ... "
"Just git on with the directions, Uncle Howard!"
"Okay. Then you go past the stadium and make a right on a dirt road next to the burned-down old firehouse by the Texaco station. You go out by this big farm and ..”
 

SuperBuickGuy

Well-Known Member
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3,403
Location
Woodinville, WA
Uncle Howard droned on for 20 solid minutes, while Carl scribbled furiously on napkins.
Ten minutes later, the Suburban peeled off the pavement and headed down a bumpy dirt road. A peeling Mail Pouch wall signified that this was the correct turn.

The road was rougher than Carl expected, but the huge Suburban was equipped with 12 of the best shocks that money could buy. He kept his speed down and worked the wheels around the deepest potholes skillfully.

Everything went smoothly and they exited the dirt road and found Wind Chill Factor Football Stadium. Memories flooded back into Carl's mind. Since most of them were grim, he asked Emma to play the radio. "Try to get a good polka station and while you're at it, brew me up a cup of coffee."

Emma shuffled to the back of The Whale and micro-waved a cup of coffee for Carl. Oh yes, The Whale was well-equipped. Carl set it in the drink holder and stuffed some napkins around the cup to keep it from rattling.

A short time later, they turned off on yet another dirt road. Carl turned to Emma. "Put your belt on tighter. I'm tired of creeping down these back roads. Time to let the 454 stretch its legs and get the shocks warmed up!"

Carl nailed the throttle and spit dirt from the huge tires. All things considered, he drove quite well down that section of bumpy road, enjoying the way the suspension sucked up most of the bumps.
"Emma, get those napkins and check the directions. There's a four way fork in the road coming up."
Emma squeaked and covered her face with her hands. "Carl! Those napkins with the directions on them? Well, those are the ones you stuffed in the coffee cup holder."
"So what? Just get 'em out and read me the directions.
Emma reached over and extracted a soggy brown mass of dripping napkins. "Carl, you went sort of fast and the coffee sloshed out over the edges. We might have a bit of trouble reading those directions."
Carl got bright red in the face, grabbed the wad of soaked napkins and poked through it with one thick forefinger. "Jeez! It looks like something from underneath a cow. I can't make out anything. We'll just have to rely on my keen sense of direction."

Hours later, they were in deep woods and it was getting dark. Carl got on the CB and turned the knobs. "This here's The Whale. Does anybody copy?"
A few moments of static greeted him, then a clear voice broke through. "We read you, Whale. Come back."
"Oh good. We're off-roading here and looking for some directions. Can you help us?"
"Oh, one of the off-road crowd, eh? No problem. Can you give us a landscape identification?"
"Sure. We got a white old abandoned farm house on the left with a sign in front that says "Turkeys For Sale."
"No problem at all. That's the old Andersen place. Proceed east on that road until you get to a cross-road, then make a right. Go 20 miles until you see a gate and a big pile of gravel. Come on right in and park."
Carl beamed. "See how easy it is when you know how to do it, Emma?"

A long time later, because of the fog, Carl found the gate and pulled in. It was late, so they just set The Whale up and bedded down for the night.

Bright light streaming in through the window woke them up. Carl peered out of the window and was astonished to see hundreds and hundreds of trucks and 4-x4s all over the place. Banners were up and a mob of people were milling around.
Carl clambered out of The Whale, stretched, and looked around. A man came over with a clipboard and shook Carl's hand. "Welcome to Gravelrama, sir. We don't get too many full-sized trucks like yours entering the events. Just sign here and indicate the events you want to enter."
Carl looked at the clipboard. Hmmm. Mud bogs ... hill climbs ... obstacle course. An evil look came into his eye.
Emma exploded: "Carl! You wouldn't dare!"
A lopsided grin appeared. "Where do I sign?"

***

Will Carl really compete in Gravelrama? Will The Whale get stuck in the mud bog? Has anybody ever tried the hill climb with a boat on the roof? Stay tuned next month for the answers.
 

JPaul

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Messages
2,400
Location
Way up north, UT
If you're going to be running a large inverter frequently, and have the money, I'd probably go with at least a 24v system for the house wiring. The higher the voltage the less amps you have to push through the wiring, allowing you to run higher wattage without increasing the size of your cables. A 24v system will reduce the amp needs for a 3000 watt inverter in half compared to a 12v system (watts = volts * amps, or amps = watts / volts). So instead of needing a cable that can safely handle a load of 225 amps at 12 volts, you would just need wire/cable that can handle 112.5 amps. A 48v system would only need to handle 56.25 amps.

That's why a 20 amp circuit in a house running at 115v only needs 12 gauge solid wire for safe load handling at long-ish distances, whereas a 12v system at the same lengths and wattage would need 2/0 gauge to 3/0 gauge (00 to 000 gauge) at the same distances.

I don't know how much you already know about all this SuperBuick, but I'm sure others at least can use the info. :)
 

SuperBuickGuy

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Messages
3,403
Location
Woodinville, WA
I appreciate the input. I tend to overbuild, so having expert insight is very helpful. thank you.

Today I didn't get much done - went to a swap meet, bought nothing, came home and worked on sorting out the no-charging/no-headlights issue. I dunno, I'm going to swap 2 wires, the one from the starter and the one from the alternator although I've found and tested all the fusible links and they are all fine (and yes, I dropped the starter to do this). I did find that the temp sensor for the glow plugs wasn't connected - but I don't think I have power to the + side of the relay so until I resolve that (and probably the headlight issue)... no joy. Before I did the wire-clean-up, I had headlights... of course, I also had a solid risk of the entire truck burning down - which, presuming I keep my patience in check, shouldn't be a risk anymore (plus, I'm partial to tanerite)
 

SuperBuickGuy

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Messages
3,403
Location
Woodinville, WA
I so want to divorce all the components for the AC system. Run an electric compressor, use the evaporator on the front of the truck (and electric fans), then use the current condenser plus maybe one further back.... it's got to be possible but I think the biggest issue facing me is the sizing of the electrical components..... tl;dr - JP, help please.

really tricky would be to use the ducting for the heating as well. I will be carrying propane for the cooktop and for heating shower water (outdoor shower)....
 

SuperBuickGuy

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Messages
3,403
Location
Woodinville, WA
one more question for you JP - we alternator our power on cars - meaning it's already AC voltage, why rectify it to DC then back to AC to run appliances?
 

JPaul

Well-Known Member
Messages
2,400
Location
Way up north, UT
I'm not an expert, I've just been playing with electronics for a really long time as a hobby. :)

The reason you don't generally modify a car alternator to generate 110v AC is the alternator is not designed in a way that makes it easy to do so. The frequency of the AC voltage varies widely with engine RPM for one (electric 110v AC motors are designed around a constant 50-60 hz, one hertz is one complete waveform cycle per second, so 60 hertz is 60 waveform cycles per second), another issue is that the majority of AC motors/appliances you're going to use are meant for single phase, whereas a car alternator at the AC component level generates 3 phase AC which is great for generating DC with low ripple, but you cannot combine three phases into a single AC phase and have anything work right since the waveforms overlap each other (they are 33.3 degrees out of phase with each other so you wouldn't have anything close to a proper AC waveform if you overlapped them on the same circuit).

So it *can* be done, but whether or not you *should* is another matter. If you want straight single phase AC from a engine mount/belt driven generator then there are manufacturers that make them, fabcopower.com is one (but their site is not loading for me right now). They can be pricey from what I remember the last time I looked into that, and I have no idea how reliable they are, plus you'll only get AC power while the engine is running.

Really I think you're better off using your standard DC output alternator to charge a battery bank and run a high efficiency pure sine wave inverter. It'll be pricey, but then you have the flexibility of being able to have power without the engine running (using a car engine as an AC generator is pretty inefficient), and you can also charge the battery bank using solar power while sitting around camp or even driving (if they are mounted flat on the roof). That would require a charge controller though, but that just adds to the flexibility of your system, since a charge controller can take any input voltage within it's design range and safely keep your batteries charged.

And if you're wanting better efficiency without going high voltage, then a 24v DC is your best option, the closer you get the supply voltage to the output of 110v AC, the more efficient the inverter will be, plus you have the added benefit of reduced weight, cost, and danger by being able to run smaller gauge wires for the same amount of power (watts) than you'd need for a 12v system (fires are started by too many amps heating the wire, voltage doesn't create heat by itself). You can get 24v alternators in a number of flavors all day long. 24v 3000 watt pure sine wave inverters are around the same price as 12v ones and your amperage requirements are about half what you'd need for a 12v system. 48v equipment seems to be non-existent, at least here in the States.


You can use the 12v system with a dual battery (since it's a diesel I think that's the recommended course of action due to the increased cranking amp requirements of the high compression engines in those) for the engine and all the stock wiring (lights, ecu, gauges, etc), and then have a separate 24v system for all the house stuff (inverter, fridge/freezer, AC powered stuff, etc). The fridge/freezers all seem to be able to run off of either 12v or 24v DC (it's not worth running them off the AC in the car since they just rectify it back down to 12v/24v DC to run the compressor and electronics).


As for divorcing the Penguin components, the wiring isn't too hard provided you know the amp draw of each component, the voltage requirement, and how long the run is. If they are all 110v AC then 12 gauge wire is fine unless they are over 20 amps for that particular circuit (but you will have to run wire for both sides of the circuit, you can't mix DC and AC grounds/neutrals). To be really safe you could go up to 10 gauge, but I don't think that'd be necessary. Just make sure to use unique colors for the wire jacket or label them to make sure it's clear they are 110v AC. I'd do the same with the 24v system to avoid confusion later. For the 110v stuff you could just get a really nice 12 or 10 gauge extension cord from Lowes or somewhere to cut up for the runs, then it's easy to run and it's obvious they are 110v lines. Just put it inside some split loom so that it doesn't look ghetto.
 

SuperBuickGuy

Well-Known Member
Messages
3,403
Location
Woodinville, WA
Raised my 4 kids in a 1981 Suburban! How much for it when your done ✅


you'll want to buy my 2nd Suburban build ;) but I could be convinced... this one is the experiment of a Land Rover or Land Cruiser challenger. The 2nd will be far more refined.
 
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SuperBuickGuy

Well-Known Member
Messages
3,403
Location
Woodinville, WA
You've convinced me - the refrigerator is 12/24v so I'm not going backwards to decide, now, to do a complete 24v system. A friend is building a Pinzgauer for SAR that he needed 12v for his radio stuff, but 24 for everything else. Worse case scenario I could follow his steps and have a 12v/24v alternator built. It makes so much sense to run all the house systems run off 24v - on top of that, that is the trend of the industry, military uses it, and if I ever travel the world, most RV inverter/chargers accept 220v input and coupled output 24v.....
 

JPaul

Well-Known Member
Messages
2,400
Location
Way up north, UT
I don't know if I'd go so far as to having a single dual voltage output alternator if that's what you're talking about, I'd just put a separate 24v alternator on the other side of the engine (I'd imagine it'd fit just fine, this is an old Suburban we're talking about). You can shared the same grounds between the 12v and 24v systems. Just the supply from the alternators/batteries need to remain separated.

Then you basically have a backup for the vehicle electrical since you can use a charge controller from the 24v system to charge the 12 volt batteries. If the 24v system goes out then you're just back to roughing it.

To give you an idea of what is out there, here is a 50 amp 12/24v charge controller you can use to charge the 12v batteries from the 24v system (or from solar panels, etc): https://www.amazon.com/50-Amp-12-Volt-24-Volt-Digital-Controller/dp/B00GSYA0KC (btw, I have no idea how good that one is, it was just the first thing that came up when I searched for 50 amp charge controller)

50 amps would be enough to charge the batteries and keep them charged while running on minimal usage. You'd need to determine the amp draw of your entire vehicle's critical systems (engine controls, gauges, headlights, signal/safety lamps, etc) to make sure the charge controller is large enough to supply enough amps to keep everything running in case of a failure of your 12v alternator.



We're building a bugout/survival vehicle for the apocalypse here, right? :giggle:
 
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